A Play Of Repugnance

Colour is the most ignored of everyday elements. Only until pondered can the quantity of it’s vast applications become truly realised. One such appliance to which this mystical resource can be applied, came to me in a daydream, looking back on various past engagements with an individual whose colour is regrettably that of a dull beige; formless, subtle and frustratingly dull.

The purest and most thoughtful minds are those which love colour the most.

John Ruskin

man-eating-chocolate-200x300
In another universe there sits a man who looks just like me, he’s busy, just as I am, typing away, sat comfortably in his home. Enjoying what would appear to be a stolen weekend; a cup of the finest earl grey cools on his desk, and gradually this extremely handsome fellow makes his way through the various Christmas chocolates – courteously of the adoring aunts. Having yet another opportunity to write about a subject matter to which he has explored for a time, namely on this occasion that time was, the commute ride home. He wishes to share the thoughts with others, simply for the joy of sharing such experiences, perhaps a positive lesson to be passed from one stranger to another? But unfortunately reader, you and I are in the same universe, and I am not writing as I wish to share anything of positivity, as regrettably, it’s a warning. I have always tried to approach situations with my own selfish thoughts and feelings removed, so that I have a clear mind that is set to fairness, in order to give strangers that might happen to enter my life, a fair chance to winning a friendship together equally, or otherwise. But sometimes there comes a person, whose contagious weakness oozes out from the holes of their hollow, empty promises.
Hate is too strong an emotion to waste on someone, you don’t like The Most Intelligent Of Men
redMy colour has and will always be, red; I am a driven and hungry individual whose thoughts and feelings often rage, mostly due to my unquenchable thirst for adventure! Such thoughts and feelings escape, as tenacious as the master that conjured them. Simply to allow the accommodation of an individual that has wanted nothing more than to feed off of my exquisite attention giving abilities, obvious attractions and good honest nature; for fear of their own loneliness and need for appreciation. Had it not for my own selfish desires to be more to them, than had been permitted or ever promised, you, dear reader would not have had how ever many moments taken from you, as you digest this rant, and for that, I am deeply sorry. Locked in battle against my gut, during that rather epic play of repugnance, I was being fooled, by a young girl’s whims for daily attention, convinced to actually believing her need was that of calling for me, as if she missed the man that she potential needs, only to find that when plans of being together were put in place, they would get cancelled, or if left in her court to follow up, nothing would be done. Of course their are reasons for this, but self severing emotional animals, that don’t understand themselves will always struggle to understand how their words may affect the ones to which they so fleetingly hold promise. And with this very experience now many years behind me, I realise all along that my need for a girl in my life then, was in vain and what I actually needed, was what all men, real men, desire the most.

I have a woman’s body and a child’s emotions. Elizabeth Taylor

childwithblocksI am a great champion for never letting go of your childhood. It is the most important part of life as it shapes us as people. As adults our inner child is what makes us fun to be around, it keeps us interesting and keeps us interested, as their is nothing more inquisitive than a child’s quest for knowledge why ever else would they use the word “why” so much? Nevertheless, the inner child, much like the universal force that binds the galaxy together, has a dark-side. This evil part of ones inner most fun can dominate to the point that it controls the persona of the individual, to which it inhabits. Taking over decision making, self awareness and most importantly, emotional intelligence. It creates a persons ego, which then controls its very actions and reactions to everyday life. More often than not such people are prone to telling lies. The lies inflict a state of chaos on the last person that they would ever want to hurt, themselves. Worlds are created within this epic ego, to the point that consequences are feared then quickly covered up with more lies. Their blindness to such behavior and failure to understand how or why such actions are important, or upsetting to others, is the result of a constant admiration. These people are easy to spot on social networking sites; simply look for the profile photographs clearly taken by ones self in full make-up fashioning the classic pout, or super wide doe eyes. Arrogance and confidence are always mistaken by the shotgun judges, this is something else entirely. Arrogance is a form of narcissism, whereby you think you’re amazing and that everybody else….. what, other people exist?
Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.
Albert Einstein
Weak people sit on the fence, enjoy a mundane existence, are self appreciative and highly dangerous. They have the power to bring out in you a persona of pure anger; resulting in actions you never thought yourself capable, as you attempt to reach to the real person that resides within the depths of all that bravado. However rest assured, the real version exists, it will take a while for it to come out of them, but its there, when they finally get over themselves and stop looking inward, ironically they’ll find what it truly means to be human, the next plane will be waiting for them, but unfortunately, I wont be.
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6 Comments

Filed under Articles, Personal Development, Sociology

6 responses to “A Play Of Repugnance

  1. I’m sorry someone came into your life who treated you with so little respect and empathy!

    Maybe this will cheer you up (it’s some of the most wonderful interplay with color I’ve ever seen): http://dragonshades.com/

  2. I loved this…felt it. You and I are the same. I give attention extremely well and recently learned this same lesson. I believe our hearts were built to handle the tragedies of misdirection, misallocation better than most in order to form into words the voice of our hearts. or maybe I am just high…j/k…not really…or really I am j/k :)

  3. You Sir, are one talented writer. Impressive stuff, as always!

  4. I agree ^ a gifted writer.. And I can relate so much to a couple of these posts. Keep it up! Thanks for the follow, right back at ya!

    XO….Skye Davis

  5. I so enjoy your writing! I’m glad you found my blog so I could find yours! Cheers, and I look forward to reading more posts! Jerri

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